I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
