Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
