school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
