I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
