You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
