i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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