I need help removing her.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
