Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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