Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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