I just threw up on my dentist
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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