Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
