i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
