you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
