i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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