im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
