I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
stop calling my apartment porn island.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
