fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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