I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
