im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
