As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You can't special order awesome
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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