all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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