you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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