I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
