Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
