No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i think my mom watched the whole time
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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