I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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