I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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