whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
