Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
