what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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