sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
