mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh god it's open bar.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
