I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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