Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
