the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
