Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
