I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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