That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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