Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
