absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
