I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
