dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
