We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
