I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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