so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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