I need help removing her.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
