this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
