My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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