i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
