he told me I talked like a deaf person
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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