After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
