and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
