God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
