You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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