If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
