your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
