Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
