Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
