well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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