Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize