I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
