Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
