This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
