Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Too much gin, very little bucket
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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