Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
