The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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