she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
