Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
