i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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