Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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