Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
