careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
