i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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