I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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