I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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