Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize